


flood

by pinball_mentality



Series: oh spider, crushed beneath my foot, tell me who i am (tell me who i’m supposed to be) [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, Nonbinary Kurapika (Hunter X Hunter), One Shot, Pain, The Kurta Clan Massacre (Hunter X Hunter), brief and vague mentions of the phantom troupe (of course), brief mention of leorio calling kurapika because brring brring bitch its angst hours, kurapika character study time BECAUSE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, kurapika is now drowning, literally renowned in my fav discord server as the local kurapika stan, lowercase intended, no beta we die like i wish ging did, they/them pronouns for Kurapika
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28036644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinball_mentality/pseuds/pinball_mentality
Summary: kurapika’s personal hell, and the chains that tie them to an ocean floor of grief.
Series: oh spider, crushed beneath my foot, tell me who i am (tell me who i’m supposed to be) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053668
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	flood

**Author's Note:**

> hehe kurapika <333 my favorite <333 it’s time for you to feel pain <333
> 
> anyways i just finished rewatching hxh (actually i have two more episodes left but I Am Not Ready™), so y’all know what i’m hyperfixating on now. :’)
> 
> that said, i hope you enjoy!!!

their eyes are red.

scarlet waves pull them under, deeper and deeper until they are drowning, drowning in grief and sorrow and the guilt of holding a body in their hands. drowning in blood and false warmth and rage; pure, unbridled rage. it is difficult to breathe, lungs filled with emotion and hurt, filled with a need for vengeance. air escapes them, and all they can see is red.

chains wrap around their heart, tethering them to a dark, dark place. dark, dark, so dark. they didn't like being here. it was where they were most often. shadows of eyeless corpses and pools of blood surround them, keeping them tied down with cold chains and insurmountable grief and a silent knife to their heart.

rattling fills their ears and they can think of nothing else but red. red, scarlet, following them everywhere. they shouldn't be alive. they'll throw themself into a mission of death and mourning and hatred with everything they have, with nothing but harsh fire burning in their heart and the heavy sins weighing on their back. eyes follow them everywhere, boring into their back with the weight of blood and massacre. the eyes evade them at every twist and turn, floating mockingly in display cases, as if they were a prize to show off and not the remains of their loved ones.

the spider twitches.

a clock chimes. emperor time has come to give them a visit.

and for a brief moment they are god, unchained by guilt and grief, simply powerful and free and on their way to their own demise. time passes in fast forward, both faster and slower than they'd like. they will die. immortality is fleeting.

their lungs are filled with nothing and everything as they remove november from the calendar. "kill me" echos in their ears, joining the cacophony of screams and hate and memories that already reside within their mind. everything feels a little bit heavier, now, as they paint a picture of hell with the blood on their hands.

they are alone. they are undeserving of love or kindness. those who care for them will die, will wrap another chain around their body and push them deeper under the crimson waves. they don't bother reaching a hand out for help, they don't bother bringing anyone else down with them. this is their burden to carry, their prison to live in. a solitude known only to scarlet oceans and personal hells and the sole survivor of a genocide.

hearts are not needed for the damned, so they tear it out of their chest, still beating in their palm. they crush it, letting it fall into the suffocating dark around them. their eyes are red and empty and sad and angry and lost, they're so lost, what are they without their rage, what are they without the spider?

their phone rings.

they can't hear it past the sound of crimson water and desperate gasping for air that's not there. they drown further into a pit of hate, filled with eyes and spiders and unyielding chains. they are deaf to the sound of familiar yelling, deaf to the sound of a chime informing them that a voicemail has been left for them. they cannot hear, do not breathe, close their eyes.

they are empty and sad and broken and undeserving of anything but lungs filled with red and a spider crushed beneath their foot.

kurapika needs to scream, but everything comes out gargled underwater. they fall deeper into nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> hehe pain <333 pain for my favorites <333 ily kurapika <333 
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoyed!! thanks for reading. feel free to drop some kudos and leave a comment! it gives me that sweet, sweet serotonin. :)


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